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Enema Evangelist   by Tristan Taormino

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Tristan Taormino is the author of several sensationally sexy and informative books including Down and Dirty Sex Secrets, Pucker Up: A Hands-on Guide to Ecstatic Sex, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women. News flash: Tristan is just back from Porn Central -- L.A. -- where she directed a new porn flick, Tristan Taormino's House of Ass, which will be out in December (just in time to stuff some stocking). According to Tristan's spokesperson, "It was a really fun shoot, great cast, and we were really happy with the final product!" From college campuses to sex toy boutiques (not to mention The Howard Stern Show) Tristan tours the country touting the wonders of anal sex and the overall goodness of sex in all its frisky forms.

You can visit Tristan at her official website, www.PuckerUp.com.

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When I travel around the country teaching sex and BDSM workshops at various stores and events, people respond with inquisitiveness or enthusiasm. There is one topic, however, that causes a different reaction. When I casually ask them, "Will I see you at my workshop this afternoon?" their eyes drop to the floor, and they blush and stammer. They become visibly uncomfortable, and more often than not, I don't see their faces in the audience at my next class. These are the same people I see taking notes in "Advanced Electricity Play." So what topic could make so many folks–many of whom like pretty unconventional practices–run the other way? Enemas, of course!

I'm not exactly sure how I became an enema evangelist, preaching to the masses about the pleasures, dos, and don'ts of back-door cleansing. Let me start by saying I know more about America's bowel movements than I ever thought I would know. Than I ever wanted to know. Because I am acknowledged for my expertise in anal sex education, the enema thing kinda goes with the territory. People start talking to me about their butts, and pretty soon they become potty mouths, literally, as the conversation moves from lube and foreplay to constipation and hemorrhoids. And I can't get squeamish at that point, since I am ultimately trying to destigmatize anal eroticism. People ask the questions, and I have to know the answers, so off to Enema University I went. Sort of.

I learned about enemas the same way I learned about other kinds of erotic activities: I read everything I could, I talked to medical professionals, I went to classes. And of course, I practiced. Practice, practice, practice. And you know me: I don't like to dish out what I haven't already taken myself. The first time I ever did an extended enema scene was with someone I didn't know very well. A fetish photographer who had shot me nude and in bondage was doing some footage of girls and bodily fluids, and he wanted someone who could shoot water out of her ass. So he called me.

We were both in his tiny East Village bathroom when he filled the superhero-red enema bag. I got down on my knees on the cold tile floor and put my ass in the air. He poured some lube in his hand, and I felt his finger stroke my asshole and slip its way inside. I immediately thought, "Wow, he has big fingers." I started to loosen up around him, and told him I was ready. As I felt the tip–which was like a slim butt plug–at my opening, I could feel myself getting into it. He flipped the gauge and I felt warm water filling me. I like it when the water pressure isn't too high, flowing at an almost sleepy pace; a really unhurried enema always feels more sensual, like slowly filling a tub for a bubble bath. As the water crept inside me, I started to get that full feeling, a combination of bizarre, disorienting, and intensely pleasurable. I told him when I was ready, and he removed the tube and gently shut the door behind him.

We repeated the enema once more until the water was all clear. Then came the tricky part. He filled me up, and when I was ready to expel, we moved onto his makeshift set. He started shooting, and so did I. The first time we did it, I shot a pretty steady stream of water out of my ass, and he yelled, "Yeah!" from behind his camera. Needless to say, I felt much more intimate with my photographer friend. After all, having someone give you an enema is a real bonding experience.

When I teach workshops on enemas, I cover two kinds: the practical and the playful, because for some people, enemas are not simply a way to clear the runway but a turn-on, too. Yes, some people like, even love, enemas. It doesn't surprise me that those with kink inclinations enjoy being on the giving or receiving end of the rubber tubing. Administering this rump flush can be a way to exert control over another person's bodily functions, to dominate, to humiliate. An enema can produce deep submission and incomparable shame in a bottom ready to take a quart or so, or it can be a relaxing ritual to prepare the body for penetration. The enema itself can be a form of penetration–with water–and a bunghole full of H2O can definitely feel pleasurable under the right circumstances.

One of my absolute favorite sites on the Web dedicated to all things enematastic is BethTyler.com, where Ms. Tyler offers retro-looking rectal dilators, dozens of nozzles, including one called "the butt sweeper," clear silicone bags and red five-quart bags, erotic videos (Red Enema shot on location in Moscow!), and the Enemates personals. She even has an earnest tribute to Princess Diana, who, according to a reprinted article, was "the world's foremost celebrity to publicly proclaim the value of colonic therapy." Who knew?

When I made my video, The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women, I wanted to include an enema how-to scene. Anal queen Chloe agreed to be both teacher and taker, and willingly submitted to a rear rinse from my co-director Ernest Greene. What's so great about the scene is that it both demystifies the process and makes it seem like an entertaining activity. I also learned about the unwritten rules for erotic representations of enemas in video. For mainstream American distributors, you can show the tube going in the ass but you can't show it coming back out. That's not to say there aren't underground vids that feature the whole enchilada, but they're not on the shelves of the local adult video emporium.

If all this talk (or Princess Diana) has inspired you to launder that valley between your butt cheeks, remember that enemas wash away everything–the good, the bad, and the ugly, including beneficial bacteria that live in the ass and a thin layer of mucous that protects the delicate rectal tissue. So you should always let your body rest and recover from an enema, and don't overdo them. I don't want to see any of you at Enema Addicts Anonymous.



Visit Tristan at PuckerUp.com.